I hope most of you saw Ava's "Ava's Confession" this month. She and Jess have been parents for some time. When she wrote that, she asked Elaine and I if we wanted to be included. We didn't want to steal her big announcement. So I said I'd wait two weeks. Elaine won't write about this, that's not because she's mad or angry or embarrassed but because she has a policy that she doesn't do personal life at her site. She'll tell college stories but that's about it.
If you're a community member, you know this already from the newsletters, if you're someone who e-mails, you've heard it from me in an e-mail, but I'm a Daddy.
Elaine and I adopted a baby a little while back. She's not having another child and she raised the issue near the end of 2010 and she was noting that I wanted kids. We talked about it and talked about it.
What we agreed was we wouldn't try for an infant. If we ended up with one, that was fine and I'd stop working (she said she's done that enough in her life already). But we'd try for someone older. We also wouldn't worry about gender. And we wouldn't worry about race. And we also were fine with a special needs child.
So we started the process and we got lucky with a wonderful little girl who is five-years-old. I reduced my hours of pro bono and I might need to just knock it off completely because I am tired all the time. It's a lot of work.
She's Mina. She's five-years-old, we weren't going to say, "Okay, here's your new name we'll call you." And she's got both our last names with a hyphen.
Beau was shocked back in January when I mentioned it in an e-mail and asked why we hadn't already announced. I explained Elaine wouldn't at her site. (She doesn't write about her other child or children at her site. She is firm on privacy. I know how many times she's a parent, by the way, but she's only acknowledged at her site that she's a mother. So I'm wording it the way I did for that reason.)
But Beau was shocked and all. Why did we do it that way?
Rebecca had an online stalker who tried to go offline and track her down.
She went away for the summer for that reason. (Those are the four to six weeks that Elaine subbed for Rebecca.) She didn't feel safe (I don't blame her) and she and her husband left for that reason. Already having a stalker, Rebecca didn't want to announce when her child was born. So she just took a few weeks off around the delivery date and had guest bloggers. And when she came back after a few weeks, she announced that she had the baby. So my point is, we try to put some distance between a wedding, a birth, an adoption, what have you to make sure that there is a privacy wall and if some crazy stalker's out there it's a little bit harder for them to know about our personal lives.
If I had it to do over, I honestly would use Mike and nothing else. My last name's up here. My hometown's up here. (I don't live in Boston anymore. My folks still do.) That's really too much information. I'm not worried, I'm over six foot and I can take care of myself. But the thought that somebody like that creep trying to get information about Rebecca, calling around and pretending to know her, that they might do something like that with someone I love does worry me.
And that's why we all put distance between it. Dona announced her pregnancy at Third and I didn't think she was going to. What happened there was she felt she wasn't holding her end at Third and she wanted people to know she wasn't blowing everybody off, she was just having a difficult pregnancy. Not like Rebecca who had to go on bed rest but Dona was throwing up all the time. So that's why she went public when she did.
But anyway. That's my big news and we wanted to let Ava and Jess have a little bit of being the new parents before we noted our own. (Ava offered to include Mina in her 'confession.' That was very sweet of her but, again, we didn't want to rob focus from her good news. But we also wanted to go public for the same reason that Ava did -- read her article if you've forgotten why.)
Anyway, that's why I'm the King of Barbies these days. I'm always playing them with my daughter and my niece. And! And! My daughter has a new, incredible doll house. C.I. made it tonight. It is really something. It's got a clock on the wall and mirrors, and carpet, and posters and paintings on the walls and this walk in closet and all this other stuff. C.I. even made the bed. (King size! Barbie and Ken can sleep their together!) Everybody have a great weekend and I will really try to do Nikita on Monday. I'll do it on Tuesday if Monday doesn't work out.
Here's C.I.'s "Iraq snapshot:"