Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Are the numbers for June really up? Not so fast

No, I did not write again yesterday. And five of you are writing saying, "You went out with her again, didn't you?" Suddenly I got five additional mothers? :D No, I didn't go out with her again. We ended up talking on the phone for several hours.

I got an e-mail I want to share a little of: "When you talk about sex I cringe. But at least you make it funny. I'm happy to read your blog and proud of you." Who was that? My actual mother! Ma, you're making me blush.

Ma says when I switch from e-mails to news I should say something like, "Now, in the news."
So now, in the news.

If you saw this headline "U.S. Army ends 4-month recruiting slump in June" you might
think things are going better. Read beyond the headline:

In May, the active-duty Army lowered its recruiting goal and still missed it by 25 percent. It also fell short in February, March and April. Army officials have been expressing optimism about a recruiting turnaround in the summer months after high school graduates begin to decide on careers.

Also know that the figures haven't been released and can't be proven right. And realize that in June, one month after high school graduations, the military would be expected to do better than usual.

The figures can't be checked and we need to remember that. But when they do come out we need to remember that they dropped the numbers. This isn't "Oh June just topped January!"
They have lowered the monthly goal and still weren't able to keep it. Now they say they did.
And what month was that?

June when high schoolers have just graduated.

You got some kids who do want to join and are just waiting to graduate. You also have some kids who've been phoned and phoned all year and they're out of high school and there's not a lot of jobs in this economy, tuition has gone up, so what are some kids going to do? Sign up.

Let's wait for the figures and let's wait to see if they can do anything similar next month.

Now, back to the e-mails.

Madeline wants to know why a guy blows his game before half-time or sometimes leaves it in the locker room.

If the dude leaves it in the locker room all the time then he probably needs some help with staying power like viagra or something. Now if this is some guy you just started seeing, maybe he's new to sex and nervous. I also wonder what pep sqaud activities are going on before the start of the game? For instance, you can touch his rod but you're not their to give a hand job.
If he's losing it at half-time and does it all the time then you need to figure out if it's his problem or your problem?

If a girl sticks her tongue in my ear during, it drives me wild and i know i need to slow the pace down or I'll be leaving the field at half-time. Is there something you're doing, Madeline, each time the whistle goes off mid-game? Think about that and if you can think of something, use that play later in the game.

If it's nothing you're doing and it happens regardless, he's a sprinter and not a marathon runner so he needs to consider his options and you need to discuss it with him so he knows there is a problem. You've got a right to enjoy yourself too and if you're not enjoying yourself, you need to address the issue with him.

Hope that helps. I'll add that if he's no one you're that interested in, just break it off. It's only your problem if you're invested in the relationship.

Now, back to the news. CounterRecruiter is one of my favorite sites and it charts reality on recruitment like nobody. From a post today:

The Leave My Child Alone coalition called on Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld today to establish a National Do Not Call List to safeguard family privacy from unwanted military recruitment. The call comes a week after it was disclosed that the Pentagon has teamed with the private firm BeNOW to form a massive database of high school and college students to target for recruitment purposes.

Now, for some laughter. This is from a post by C.I. the top part is about a casualty and it is worth reading but I wanted to have something to make you smile and think this will:

Our final note on this morning's Times is on Elisabeth Bumiller who leaves the "White House Letter" to write what she (and apparently the Times) considers a news article, a hard news one worthy of the main section even if drips with the excess of feature writing at its worst.
Possibly emboldened by her recent award (strange that the Times mentions awards won by other staff but leaves out the fact that Bumiller just picked up the BuzzFlash GOP Hypocrite of the Week award), Bumiller was feeling all "reportish" and needed to weigh in on a pressing issue of our time: Homeland Security. This being Bumiller, she can't grasp concepts so she focuses on a person: Frances Fragos Townsend. Bumiller's piece is called "Homeland Security Adviser Gets High Marks in a Tough Job" which lets fans and foes know right away that even though it's not a "White House Letter," Bumiller's still capable of a full body butt smooch.
Reading along you may wonder why it's near the end of the article that you find out this " model of decorum with coiffed hair, well-cut suits and toned-down public demeanor" is also married to Bully Boy's old classmate from Andover and Yale. Kind of an important detail to anyone attempting to pen more than "I Just Love Covering D.C.! Everyone Is So Darn Nice!" stories.

Bumiller seems enthralled by the "model of decorum with coiffed hair, well-cut suits and toned-down public demeanor " whom is found "salty"Bumiller notes Louis J. Freeh's "analysis": "The [FBI] agents loved her." Though it must have been hard for Bumiller not to add an exclamation point to that statement -- a line over a little heart, no doubt. We also learn that she was very comfortable in close quarters with criminals and that she now works in the basement of the White House's West Wing, two apparently unrelated items.
Laugh with Bumiller as she wastes space to tell the tale of Condi Rice calling to pass on good news from Bully Boy (the offer of Fragos Townsend's current job). See, "Dr. Rice" was on the written message and Fragos Townsend was angry because she thought her husband, oh you're sides will be splitting!, she thought when she read the message that "her husband [was] making medical appointments for her." It's all so funny! To Bumiller anyway. And so little to do with the announcements re: Homeland Security that Frances Fragos Townsend is expected to make Wednesday.
"Friends say" pops up a lot in the article. A further testament to the fact that Bumiller is not now able to do anything remotely resembling hard news. But she is the squad leader of The Elite Fluff Patrol so nothing will prevent her from fluffing! Not the fact that Fragos Townsend refused to speak to her (a possible sign of taste not cited as such in Bumiller's article), not the fact that Bumiller apparently knows less about the report forthcoming tomorrow than she does about writing on the topic of Homeland Security.
How did that assignment come down?
Editor: There's a report on Homeland Security due to be released Wednesday! We need someone on it! Who we got?
Bumiller: (looking up from the In Style she's been leafing through for the last hour) Me! Me! Send me in coach!
Editor: (skeptical) Well, I don't know Elisabeth, you seem . . . sort of busy.
Bumiller: Please! If I have to read this profile on Nick Lachey one more time to try to figure out whether or not he and Jessica Simpson are going to make it, my head will explode! Why does In Style have to do such in depth reporting! Why!
Regardless of how she came to the piece, once she had her hands on it, it was going to be Fluff City because that's the signature approach of The Elite Fluff Patrol's squad leader. Her constant dedication to all things fluffy may be the only thing one can count on from Bumiller.

That's from C.I.'s "NYT: Jennifer 8. Lee reports, Bumiller fluffs." If you haven't read The Common Ills, why not? It's my favorite site. You'll learn, you'll laugh. Check it out.