Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I'm bringing laughter back . . . with Justy's help

It's hump day and I'm kind of tired because I've spent all day bringing funny back. Yeah, I'm bringing laughter back. All I really have to do is play the stupid song "Sexy Back" and everyone rolls with laughter. I heard that crap and thought, "Grace Jones has lost her voice." It's not Grace Jones. It's the moronic Justin TimberFake. He's bringing sexy back? Was it gone? If so did little wussies like him kill it? He sings of being whipped if he's bad and all I could think was, "Does he think he's Madonna?" A buddy e-mailed it to me and I really did think it was a joke and not for real. When I found out it was real, I played it for my kid sister. She said, "That really sucks." It does too. Tossing the f-word around and playing love slave don't make him Madonna. How bad is it? Too bad for words. Kat's already got her lead sentence for the CD review. She had a dream back in April about the suckfest album and she told C.I. who said, "You have to write that down!" She forgot to and then couldn't remember it. So we had to consult the memory banks of C.I. LOL. We all do that, expect C.I. to remember everything we forgot. But C.I. did remember the lead sentence Kat had and this time Kat wrote it down. It is perfect and perfect for this song alone. So I'll shut up before I give away her review. But if you want to bring laughter back, just play a friend TimberFake's latest.

Now let's turn the real world and note C.I.'s "Iraq snapshot:"

Chaos and violence continue and the Puppet finds how hard the strings can be yanked.Reuters reports that Hoshiyar Zebari (Iraq's foreign minister) stated that Iraq will condemn Hizbollah just in time to allow Puppet of the occupation Nouri al-Maliki to address the US Congress. Reuters also provides the Puppet's Lament -- noteworthy only due to the laugh factor: "Let us not allow what happened in 1991 to repeat itself, because if it does history will not be merciful to any of us."
"Us"? Pretty strong words for someone who bailed on his own country and wasn't, in fact, in Iraq in 1991. If a struggle wasn't finished in Iraq in 1991 (George H. W. Bush did not march to Baghdad, etc.) maybe the last person to be criticizing should be an Iraqi who was hiding outside of the country? Maybe if it meant so much to him, he should have gone to his country and not expected another country to do the work he was too scared/chicken to do?
If that seems especially harsh, it needs to be noted these thoughts aren't uncommon in Iraq. As the illegal occupation picks one exile after another to be puppet, Iraqis are offended (rightly). If al-Maliki thinks things were left unfinished in 1991, why's he blaming George H. W. Bush -- where was al-Maliki in 1991? Not in Iraq -- he only returned after the US invaded in 2003. He's a funny kind of 'brave,' a funny kind of 'leader,' shouting: "Stand with me! After others clear the way for me!"
There's a reason that various people have loyal followings in Iraq -- they were there before the invasion. They are a part of the country's history. These exiles returning and being appointed to positions of authority do not represent the average Iraqi and that's yet another factor in the hostility towards the puppet government.
al-Maliki was missing his cod-piece but, in front of the US Congress, he demonstrated he could strut and bluster as well as the Bully Boy. How bad was it? So bad Tony Snow has had to declare that "the president is not a puppeteer in this case." Only in this case?
While that nonsense went on, in the real world, the chaos and the violence continued.
Bombings?
The Associated Press notes the death of police officers (also brothers) in Baghdad from a roadside bomb. The AFP identifies one as "Lieutenant Colonerl Khadum Bressam" and notes the death of "one civilian" from a roadside bomb in Baghdad as well as a roadside bomb in Kirkuk that killed one person and left four wounded.
Shootings?
Reuters reports that three police officers were killed in Nahrwan and four others wounded; a wedding was the location for an attack where "Gunmen on a motorcycle sprayed three men with bullets"; and, in Baquba, an attack on a police patrol left with civilian dead, one police officer dead and one police officer wounded. AFP covers the patrol attack in Baquba and also notes that a family that had "gathered their possisions and prepared to flee" were attacked by "gunmen" leaving one family member dead and two others wounded.
Corpses?
AFP reports five corpses were discovered in Baghdad ("tortured and shot").
Also in Baghdad, Reuters is reporting that seventeen people were kidnapped from an apartment complex in Baghdad ("10 men, five women and two children from different families"). The mass kidnapping comes on a day when "police brigadier Abdulla Hmood, the director of the residency office in Baghdad" was also kidnapped.
Meanwhile, Patrick Cockburn (Independent of London) continues to speak with actual Iraqis. Is it a civil war? The conclusion of the people Cockburn speaks with is that it a civil war with one telling him, "When our so-called leaders go to Washington they always produce a rosy picture of what is happening in Iraq for the Americans, though they know it is a lie."
In England, the BBC reports that the families of four soldiers who died in Iraq have won their right to a judicial review. The AFP reports that Britain's Court of Appeal means the defendants "have won a key legal battle in their bid to force a full public inquiry into the legality of Britain's decision to go to war." The BBC notes the families' attorney, Phil Shiner, explaining: "The government now have to produce evidence to a full hearing in the Court of Appeal. That evidence needs to establish once and for all whether the decision to invade [Iraq] was lawful." 114 UK troops have died in Iraq. Also today in England, the AFP reports, Tony Blair was delivering a health care speech when he was interupted by a war protestor who wrote across his chest and back: "Impeach Tony Blair."
In the United States, a new Associated Press-Ipsos poll reports that, among Democrats, 31 percent i.d. the war "as the top problem for the country while 14 percent listed the economy". For all respondents, regardless of party i.d., the AP reports: "The problem mentioned most often by all adults polled was the war -- in Iraq and conflicts in general -- 22 percent." (500 participants, plus/minus 4.5 error of margin.) Breakdown of the data here.
In Australia, the inquiry into the April 21st death of Jake Kovco in Baghdad continues. Ben Doherty (The Age) reports that "Professor Alexander McFarlane, head of psychiatry at Adelaide University" that "[t]he probability that Private Kovco intentionally committed suicide is very low." Speaking with Eleanor Hall on The World Today (Australia's ABC), Conor Duffy reported: "Eleanor, this psychiatrist, his name is Professor Sandy McFarlane, and he specialises in trauma and the state of mind of troops in war zones. One of the first things he said was to rule out suicide as a possibility. He said that Private Kovco was actively planning for the future in his diary, and there were also two occasions in his diary when he'd mused about suicide. The first one was about a month before his death, when he had a dream where he'd shot himself, and he said he ruled out suicide after that and he didn't like the idea of suicide at all. The other time was after a suicide bomber had attacked some building in the green zone, and he was trying to empathise with the suicide bomber and trying to imagine how he could have done this, and he said that he couldn't at all. And I quote directly from what he said, from what Private Kovco wrote, he said: 'They have a f .. ked up state of mind, the sooner they are exterminated the better'. And he couldn't understand those suicidal actions at all."
Malcolm Brown (Sydney Morning Herald) reports that McFarlane stated: "In his diary his sense of vigilance had changed when he returned to picket duties at the Australian embassy. He perceived that this was an environment with a significantly lower level of threat. Private Kovco was in a somewhat playful state of mind."
Doherty reports that Jake Kovco's former roommates ("Soldiers 17 and 19") are returning to Australia "to give evidence in the inquiry next week" and that "another of Private Kovco's comrades, known as Soldier 14, who was on duty with Private Kovco on the day he died" to testify to the inquiry in person in Australia. On that development, Conor Duffy reports that the former roomates "will arrive in Sydney on Friday . . . [where] [t]hey're expected to undergo tests to determine if they are the source of the mystery DNA on Private Kovco's pistol."
In peace news, Cynthia Oi (Honolulu Star-Bulletin) addresses the topic of war resister Ehren Watada, noting: "Lt. Watada became the object of our discontent, the body mass on which to dump the toxic products of unease generated by the relentlessly horrible war." Courage to Resist and ThankYouLt.org are calling for a "National Day of Education" August 16th, the day before Ehren Watada is due to "face a pre-trial hearing for refusing to deploy to Iraq." ThankYouLt.Org notes: "On August 16, the day prior to the hearing, The Friends and Family of Lt. Ehren Watada are calling for a 'National Day of Education' to pose the question, 'Is the war illegal?' This day can also serve to anchor a 'week of outreach' leading up to the pre-trial hearing."
It is day 23 of the Troops Home Fast with at least 4,350 people taking part from around the world. The strike is ongoing and people can grab a one-day fast or grab a multiple-day fast while. More information can be found at CODEPINK.

I know C.I.'s tired (we all are, busy week -- check Sex and Politics and Screeds and Attitude tonight because I believe Betty's writing about it) but I'm sorry, I think that was funny as hell about al-Maliki. "Only this time?" :D Wally thought so too and he always runs his stuff by C.I. and C.I. told him what he had was funny and Wally said what he really wanted to write about was al-Maliki but that was already covered. C.I. said, "Go for it, it will be funny, I know it." So Wally ended up doing his post over and you can read "THIS JUST IN! BULLY BOY'S PUPPET TAKES A LEAK!" to appreciate what happened in Congress as the Puppet al-Maliki gave a speech to our Congress basically trashing the US for their actions in 1991's Gulf War. Like C.I. and Wally both point out, where the hell was al-Maliki? In "exile." Out of Iraq. What a brave puppet he is. Hey, he's out of Iraq now too! As it falls apart. What a leader.

Pretty cool about Tony Blair being heckled! :D And it's great that the war's going on trial in England. Finally.

Tony had a problem with my post yesterday. His problem was I was linking to Arianna Huffington and ignoring a "hometown girl." I wasn't attempting to do that. I read the Boston Globe (some days I just skim it) but what he was talking about wasn't in the paper. He didn't believe me and showed me it online and I pointed out where it said "Web exclusive." But I didn't know Joan Vennochi wrote for the web (once a week) as well as her twice a week column.
I wasn't trying to ignore a "hometown girl." So here's a portion of Joan Vennochi's "Hillary Can't Hide:"

Bill Clinton's motives are forever subject to analysis by political consultants and amateur shrinks: He wants to befriend rivals, from former President George H.W. Bush to Lieberman, who denounced Clinton's behavior with White House intern Monica Lewinsky. He is making up for past infidelities by helping Hillary wage her own campaign to be president. For that reason, he wants Lieberman to win the primary -- because the voters' rejection of Lieberman over the Iraq war is not good news for his wife's political quest.
All that may be true; but none of it has anything to do with Hillary Clinton's pursuit of the presidency. Put me in the category of political observer who does not believe Bill Clinton's popularity translates into votes for his wife. Every time he surfaces, the differences in their political style become clearer. He triangulated with a wink and a smile.
She does it without finesse or subtlety.
Take that speech in Denver to the DLC.
Hillary Clinton and other centrist Democrats desperately want to talk about the middle class, not the Middle East. They prefer to talk about tax credits and government savings bonds, as if the American dream exists in isolation from the rest of the world and a region at war.
To play on that overused campaign theme once again: Bush made it about the war, stupid.
Democrats who support the Bush policy have to stand up and answer for it, just like Joe Lieberman is doing in Connecticut.
Hillary can run -- but she can't hide behind Bill.

Get your butts over to Like Maria Said Paz for Elaine's thoughts. Which are always worth reading. Or get your sexy backs over there! :D Justin is such a moron. I thought he was bad before when he was trying to be Michael Jackson and just sounded like his voice was cracking but he's even worse now. Everytime I think of "Sexy Back," I start laughing. He's such a little twerp and he's older than me! That makes it even worse.














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